it's over

song lyrics

Verse 1:
Its over. Its over. Its over.
Every time I see your face
I just feel like a disgrace
gave these lips, this heart away
I just don’t know what to say
Take this breath and cast it off
I still read your mind and thoughts
you have filled me with distraught
I just don’t know what you want…
from meh
but juuuust to meh
it’s over
it’s over

Chorus:
And I just can’t seem to break away
from this agony and pain
you are my thoughts
I just forgot
you need to stop
all these tear drops
And I just can’t bring myself away
from the things you used to say
this isn’t fair
I saw you there
you just don’t care
and now I’m gone
you aren’t the one

Verse 2:
now you’re gone you, walk alone
I just hope you made it home
just don’t call me on the phone
The more I think the more it’s shown
you know you want me
it’s over
i said "it’s over"

Chorus:
And I just can’t seem to tell you this
how you were my true first kiss
It wasn’t true
I was the fool
for loving you
you think you’re cool
And I know you’re not all that you seem
But I don’t want to be mean
I just can’t deal
the way I feel
does not appeal
and now I’m gone
you’re not the one
Its over
Its over
Its over
Its over
Its over
Its over
Its over
you took this heart; yeeeah
and tore it apart; yeeeah
you left a mark; yeeeah
you’re in the dark; yeeeah

Chorus:
And I have to say I’m glad I left
before I was a bit depressed
I’m better now
don’t ask meh how
just take your bow
go on and pout
But I feel so weird without you here
like there’s everything to fear
you were my shield
my green grass field
without you I’m healed
none of this was real

but I know I have so much to say
bout’ the game you used to play
take two steps back
there’s things you lack
just cut the slack
and that’s a fact
not coming back..
its over.

final paper

The Break Up.

“I don’t think this is gonna work,” he said as his eyes trailed off into the distance somewhere just past my head. “I just don’t feel it like I did before, and I don’t want to play you and stay in this relationship, so I think we should just be friends.”
Just be friends?? Just be friends?? How can he possibly say that? Of course we can’t just be friends! I love you! My mind was racing; I didn’t know what to say to that. He seemed so calm, no emotion whatsoever. There wasn’t a tear in his eye, not even a shimmer of guilt or sympathy. I immediately figured he’d been cheating on me, but I wasn’t completely sure. So I asked.
“Are you cheating on me?” I just kind of blurted it out.
He looked around some more, looked me in the eye, and looked away once more, just staring into the distance. He mumbled a reply, “No. I ain’t like that.” However, I’m not dumb. I turned around to see what he was staring at with such passion.
My heart sank. I looked directly behind me, expecting to see his mom or brother or something. It wasn’t his mom. It was Natalie Johns, my worst enemy. We have never agreed on anything. We’ve been arguing about every little thing in life since pre-school. And now my boyfriend is checking her out? No. This can’t be happening. It’s not happening. It’s not. He loves me, not her. He knows I hate her, he’d never do something like that too me.
“Hey look, I gotta go. I’ll see you around?” He said in a hurry pushing me aside to make his way over to Natalie.
“Yeah sure. I guess. Whatever,” that was all I could say. There was obviously something in what I said to him because he turned back around so he was facing me. He bent down a little, just enough to give me a small kiss on the cheek. And then he danced off over to his new love. I didn’t know what to do. I stood there; in the exact spot in which he gave me the last kiss he’d ever give me for about five whole minutes. I just stood there, like a complete loaner; a pathetic loser who’d just been dumped. He was my first boyfriend. How could he break my heart like that? So many questions rushing through my head, just waiting for answers. It took me about another five minutes to convince myself he was gone and to convince my mind that all those questions are just going to have to disappear because there’s no way of ever getting them answered now that it’s over.
Later that night…
“Ally, it’s fine. He’s just a jerk don’t even worry about him. If he could be mean enough to break up with you for HER, he’s not worth all this trouble,” my best friend, Beth said to me that night on the phone.
“Beth, I want to just forget this, but he was my first boyfriend. I don’t even think you understand how much this hurts,” that was the last straw. I couldn’t hold it in anymore; I just burst out in tears and said everything. Some of what I said didn’t make sense at all, but that didn’t matter. Beth listened to me anyway. She listened to me blabber on and on about how he hurt me, how I want him back, and how I’m glad he’s gone. Contradicting myself throughout the entire conversation I was having with myself, Beth listened and gave me good advice. It’s not like I remembered any of the stuff she told me to do because I was so upset, but it meant something that she was trying.
We talked the rest of the night. After about three hours on the phone, Beth’s mom told her she had to get off, but I still needed her to listen to me, so she came over. We sat in my bed talking and crying about guys, school, parents, and life in general. It felt really good to get everything out, and to just cry about it. Crying may sound a little wimpy, but believe me it really does help. It relieves a lot of stress and just feels really good. We stayed up all night, not one minute of sleep. We ate chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate. It’s true when people say chocolate is the cure for broken hearts, it healed my heart for the night, but the very next day when I saw him at school, it fell apart again like a wet band-aid falls off a knee.
Walking down the hall, heading toward my locker, minding my own business, not looking anyone in the eye just to be careful not to accidentally meet eyes with him. I got to my locker, and I looked up once to spin the dial of doom to unlock my locker. Grabbing the last book I needed for the rest of the day, I slammed my locker shut and put the lock back on. I turned to my right and BAM! There he was, standing right in front of me, just starring me in the eye, looking deep into me, trying to read my mind.
“Hey, um, can we talk?” was all he had to say.
I couldn’t think of anything to say; nothing at all. NO! No we can’t talk! What are you thinking? Are you crazy! You broke my heart yesterday, and now you want to talk! “No,” that’s all that would come out. Everything I wanted to say just wouldn’t leave my thoughts. It stayed in there forever, until that night when I got home.
I can’t believe him. I can’t believe he has the guts to try and talk to me the very day after he completely breaks my heart. What a jerk! Normally, when I’m hurt, I write. I write everything I feel and everything I want to say but can’t. I write it all into a journal and read it about a week later. After this process, I am able to read it and laugh about everything.
When I got home that night I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling through my tears for about an hour. Once I realized it’d be quite some time before I was going to be able to stop crying, I pulled out my journal and grabbed the nearest pen. I pulled off the cap and slammed the tip of the pen onto the paper. After that, I just kept going. I couldn’t stop writing. I wrote about everything and about three pages in, I paused and noticed I had stopped crying. Writing solves all of my issues. I don’t know why, but it always makes me forget about whatever I’m writing. I don’t know how that works because I’m still very passionate about what I write, however, I still forget about everything that’s going on.
Pressing the ink down onto the paper one last time to continue my story, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t finish. My heart was somewhere else. A song. A song would be a perfect way for me to forget about everything. I put both earphones in my ears and blasted a bunch of slow love songs. Although I listened to about fifty different songs, none of them seemed to fit my emotions. Gosh darn it. I wish I could just write my own. It was right then that the thought of writing a song came to my mind. I turned to a new page in my book and began to write the lyrics to the story of my broken heart.

Final Analysis

Veronica and I partnered up for this sonnet writing assignment and as we sat down to create a topic for our sonnet; we came up with many different ideas; for example, the beach, friends, music, sports, school. All of these seemed really over used to us, so we continued to think of a more original topic. I looked outside for a simple, but unique idea, and I saw the beautiful blue sky. I then said, "What about the sky?" We wrote it down and stared at the paper for a little while.
We decided the previous topics, which came to mind, were most likely already going to be written about by some other group, so we agreed on the sky as our topic. However, even though we had a topic to write about, we wanted to show some symbolism as well as some relation to our lives. We thought about a connection long and hard and came up with something quite unique.
Before blacks had equal rights in America, life was hell. America was not America. Racism was one of the biggest issues in the country, and there was only one person who brought the courage up to actually do something about it. His name was Martin Luther King Junior. This brave man, being black, was raised with no rights whatsoever. He was always looked down upon even though he may have been smarter, faster, or nicer than some of the other white kids. He became an adult and found he was still being looked down upon, and he was just sick of it. He wanted equality, he wanted to be known, and most importantly he wanted to be free. Being black in that time period was probably one of the hardest things to live through. Some did not live, and Dr. King decided to finally change that. He gave "the speech" that day which changed America forever. If it were not for him, this country would not be as successful as it has been.
That is just what we were randomly thinking about; we thought about how amazing it was for a discouraged black man to bring America out of racism. We related this to the sunrise. Nighttime is a dark, scary time; just like how life was back when there was no equality between races. However, in the morning, the sun comes up and lightens the earth, just like how Dr. King's speech brought America out of the dark and into freedom.
The connection between the sunrise and Dr. King's speech was made and we immediately began writing. Everything just came to us.
This sonnet begins during the night in a dark place, relating back to the time before Martin Luther King's speech took place; a time when life was hard, and all blacks were forced to live in shadows. In the middle of the sonnet, the sun begins to rise, which symbolizes Dr. King's speech itself; there was a little light that gave the black people a little hope. Towards the end, the sun is up, people can see the light, and Dr. King had changed the world.
As stated in our sonnet, nothing is more beautiful than the wondrous sky, the blue beauty no one can quite figure out. Dr. King made that light visible for all to see when he convinced America that its' old way of life was not right.

Sunrise by Tori & Veronica

The darkest shadows are cast upon me
Leaving me lost and scared in search for light.
Stuck in the dark alone I cannot see
The struggle these hurt people have to fight

Looking down upon this broken up place
Some are desperately trying to save,
One brave soul sees life isn’t about race
He says no one deserves to be a slave

His words brought them out of darkness to light
Taking away all inequality
Fresh generations now have a clear sight
A sight that pushes aside polity

The sky, which had once been a blackened mess
Is now a blue beauty and nothing less.

sonnet video

Paper #2 Final

I was finally on my way back home. Those last couple days went as slow as possible just because I didn’t have anything to do, or anywhere to be. That could have been why it seemed like such a waste of my time. Anyhow, all I could think about was how my parents took the news. Would they be upset? And what would they do to punish me if they were? I kept thinking about whether they'd ground me from the phone, keep me in for a month, not let me hang out with friends for a while, or make me do all the chores. But eh, whatever, I didn't actually care. I think the only reason I was thinking about that crap was cause there was nothing else to do on the train ride home.
Staring out the window, I began to recognize the area. I felt my chest bouncing as the train came to a stop. I jumped up, caught my balance, and calmly strolled off the train. After walking about a mile from the train station, I finally made it to my house. I stood outside for a while before it hit me. I was home; away from Pencey, away from living on my own, and away from all those goddam phonies. Thinking about all that, I knocked on the door.
It wasn't my mom or dad who came to the door, but Phoebe. I guess I was glad about that cause Phoebe's more welcoming than my parents anyway.
"Holden! You're home!" Phoebe was doing her job in keeping my secret about expulsion. I told her to pretend like I was never there that one night I came to talk to her, and she did a good job at covering. Well, I guess my parents would have told her I got expelled after they got the letter from Pencey, but oh well, I guess she was still pretending. Anyhow, I talked to Phoebe for a while before actually coming into the house to see my parents.
"Oh…hello there Holden," was all my mom had to say to me. She looked at me, and then turned back into the kitchen. I stood there with little Phoebe by my side for a couple seconds and then we both just kind of looked at each other with puzzled looks on our faces.
"Umm, I guess mommy's a little mad about you getting into all that trouble at school," that was the nicest way Phoebe could think of to tell me that my mom was really pissed off at me for being such a screw up.
"Goodness! I knew I was going to get busted for getting kicked out, but I was expecting at least a little sympathy for coming home," I thought about saying what I really thought, but decided it was inappropriate for my kid sister. But man, I was expecting at least a little goddam hospitality! Damn it, damn it, damn it! That was all I could think. All I could do was get pissed at my mom for being pissed at me. I mean, I know deep down that she does have a good reason for being a bitch, but that sure didn't stop me from being pissed at her.
"Holden calm down. It's okay; they'll cool down after a little bit. I think they're just mad cause it was a big shock and no offense, but you didn’t have the best record before this," Phoebe all of the sudden wasn't very good at making me feel better. She actually made me feel worse.
"Gosh darn it Phoebe you're not helping!" Once again I edited my language for Phoebe. With that I slammed the door and sat on the porch steps. About thirty minutes later, my dad came out and sat next to me. "What do you want? If you're gonna be rude to me like mom was, I don’t wanna hear it. I'll leave if you want me to, but I don’t wanna be around if I'm gonna be treated like crap."
"Holden, I am disappointed in you. I expected better out of you, especially after everything else that's happened before Pencey," I could tell I he was heading into the whole guilt trip speech, "Your mother and I have talked about what your punishment should be for this and we couldn’t come to anything. We don’t feel you deserve to go to another expensive private school, but we don’t want you in a public school either."
"I don’t wanna go to school. Public, private, college, none of that shit fits me. You know that, mom knows that, even ask Phoebe! Even Phoebe knows that!" I was trying to convince him not to send me back to school.
"I know that Holden," he was actually starting to sound more understanding. "I don’t know how to say this…but, um, your mother and I have come to the decision that you should be out on your own."
"What, you mean like, living on my own?" I said with sarcasm. But, boy was that a shock!
"Yes; on your own. It was a hard decision, but we both feel it's best. We don't know what to do with you anymore Holden; we've tried everything and you just keep messing everything up. I'm sorry son," he actually did sound sincere.
"You know what, fine. I'm gonna go upstairs and get my stuff together and leave by the end of the day," I slammed my feet down on the ground as a jumped up and stormed inside. I walked up to my room to get my stuff and Phoebe was waiting for me on my bed. "So, I'm guessing you knew and you just didn't tell me?"
Phoebe shook her head, "Mommy just came in and told me when daddy was talking to you. Where you gonna go Holden?" boy did she sound worried.
"I dunno. Probably back to the city. Where else am I gonna go? California maybe, but I'd have to earn a hell of a lotta money to get me all the way over there," I just started rambling. I was so confused. I thought they'd take it bad, but I never saw this coming.
Phoebe walked out of my room in tears and slammed her door. I felt terrible. I let her down. I was her role model, and now she can't even look up to me. But I don’t want her to anyway. What the hell kinda example am I? Goddam it Holden! I just kept saying that to myself in my head, over and over again. I finally finished all my packing and somehow managed to squeeze everything into one backpack. I put my red hat on and walked downstairs to say goodbye to my weeping mother and my frustrated father just before walking out of the door for the last time. Well, at least until I get back on my feet. Maybe they'll forgive me if someone discovers that I'm actually a genius waiting to be found and turned into a millionaire. No, what the hell was I thinking? I'd never become a millionaire. I was just a screw up.
I'll skip all the boring stuff I did that day cause I don’t think you really wanna hear about it. It was basically me sitting in a park, wallowing in self-pity. That night I found myself at some small bar a couple blocks from home. I remembered I used to sit outside of that place as a kid with Phoebe there and we'd always talk about hanging out there when she got old enough. I felt a small hand touch my back and at first it didn’t phase me, but then it started poking me so I turned around only to find Phoebe there, right behind me. I jumped off the stool and questioned Phoebe like a worried mother would.
"Holden, I'm running away with you. The only reason I stay at home is to wait for you to come back from school, and now your out for good, so lets go rent a place," Phoebe said all that with a cute little girl smile on her face.
"Phoebe what the hell do you think you're doing? You can't come with me. Hell, I don’t even know where I'm going, how the hell am I supposed to watch out for you as well as figure my life out?" I sounded furious, but actually I wasn’t. I was really glad Phoebe decided to come with me, she'd keep me company, but what about my frickin' parents? "Phoebe you can't come. Mom and dad would freak."
"Don't worry about it Holden, it'll be fine. They won't even notice. The only thing they needed me for was to give you a reason to come back on your breaks," Phoebe sounded so sad, yet happy at the same time.
"I'm not sure why, but I guess I'll let you come with me. Except, I don’t know where I'm going so your just gonna have to bear with me," Phoebe was my life saver, although I still wasn't sure how I was going to support us both on the streets, you know, after I spent all my money expecting my parents to be forgiving folk.
"Sweet! Let's go to that motel we stayed at that one Christmas!" Phoebe sure seemed awful excited to be homeless.
"Okay, we can try I guess, I don’t have much money, but we'll see what we can get," Boy was I starting to sound like an adult. But I guess I had to seeing as though I basically had to be Phoebe's new dad cause she's so young and all.
Anyway, a couple days passed and Phoebe was doing great. She loved the idea of living in a motel with her big brother. Me on the other hand, boy was I getting annoyed. All she wanted to do was go to the park. I was getting so sick of that goddam park. A couple more days passed and we got kicked out of the motel because I ran out of cash. Phoebe suggested staying at the park like actual homeless people, but I wasn't up for that. I wanted a bed under a roof. Hell no was I going to sleep under a tree. But, where did we end up? Yeah that's right, we ended up at the park under a tree. Phoebe was thrilled and I couldn’t take being so poor anymore. I decided to apply for jobs the next day. But what was I going to do with Phoebe while I was at work?
"I can go with you and we can get paid double!" Boy was she clueless.
"You can't work Phoebe! Only I can! You can't! Get it? Goddam it!" I overreacted as usual and Phoebe started to cry. I felt bad so I held her as we lay there for a while before we actually fell asleep under the tree.
The next morning I applied for a job at some bar, but they didn’t believe me when I said I was twenty-two. So I tried the bookstore across the street. I was hired almost immediately, but I didn’t take it as a compliment or anything. I just figured the guy needed a worker so he picked the first guy up for it. He told me I was going to start the next day at 8:00 am. I grabbed Phoebe's hand and we walked out of the store.
All of the sudden, she stopped walking and just stared at the window. "Phoebe what is it? C'mon we have to get going, I don’t wanna be here all night, let's go!" I was very impatient, but didn’t even bother looking at what she was obviously interested in. She didn’t' budge. Even when I tried pulling her, her eyes were locked to some sign on the window. I finally decided to check it out and I was completely in shock.
"Lost: Phoebe Caufield (age: 10, height: 4'8", eyes: green, hair: red) If you've seen her, please call: 555-1325" That's what the sign said. I looked down at Phoebe and she wasn't there. Apparently she had run away, or back home. Either one would have screwed my life over even more. "Phoebe! Where are you? C'mon Phoebe this isn't funny!" There was no reply.
This really got me pissed cause I had to deal with finding Phoebe, as well as my parents if they could track me down in the big city. Goddam it Holden, you've really screwed up this time.
END OF CHAPTER

Looking at Holden Caufield's personality, it is easy to see how grouchy, uptight, and mean he really is. I recognized this as I read his story, so I decided to add another chapter into the book explaining how Holden's life just kind of went down the drain. Due to his negativity, Holden always turns something that could possibly be a good situation, into a bad one that will only impact his own life. He either chooses to hurt, nag on, or just complain about everyone he felt was a phony, leaving him feeling as if he was the superior one.
I noticed from reading "The Catcher in the Rye" that Holden Caufield enjoys feelings like he is better than everyone else. Therefore, he tends to put down everyone he possibly can because he knows he is such a screw up that he just needs to make himself feel good. Holden has found that if he convinces himself that everyone else is phony, it helps him to forget about all the things he has done that have gotten him to where he is now.
The chapter I added began with Holden on a train on his way home thinking about how his parents were going to react to the news about his expulsion at Pencey. I decided to start here because I needed to show what Holden was expecting from his parents and it also helped to show that he was actually nervous to see them again. He was concerned about how they would view him and he definitely did not want to be looked down upon, especially by his own parents. I chose to make the chapter about how Mr. and Mrs. Caufield came to the final decision of Holden living on his own because I think Holden needs to realize how much he has screwed his own life up. He needs to realize that he needs to work extremely hard to turn his life around, and that he cannot count on complaining about other people for the rest of his life. Therefore, I had Phoebe run away with Holden, leaving him responsible for not only himself, but also his little sister as well. This finally got Holden the encouragement he needed to look for a job and begin to start over. However, it turns out he lost Phoebe, and his parents have search signs all over town…what is Holden going to do?
I decided to end with Holden seeming irresponsible again to leave my readers with some suspense. I feel like Holden has done so much to ruin his like already, that him getting kicked out of his school as well as his own house, just is not enough to keep him from screwing up more.

New Chapter in the Catcher in the Rye

I was finally on my way back home. Those last couple days went as slow as possible just because I didn’t have anything to do, or anywhere to be. That could have been why it seemed like such a waste of my time. Anyhow, all I could think about was how my parents took the news. Would they be upset? And what would they do to punish me if they were? I kept thinking about whether they'd ground me from the phone, keep me in for a month, not let me hang out with friends for a while, or make me do all the chores. But eh, whatever, I didn't actually care. I think the only reason I was thinking about that crap was cause there was nothing else to do on the train ride home.
Staring out the window, I began to recognize the area. I felt my chest bouncing as the train came to a stop. I jumped up, caught my balance, and calming strolled off the train. After walking about a mile from the train station, I finally made it to my house. I stood outside for a while before it hit me. I was home; away from Pencey, away from living on my own, and away from all those goddam phonies. Thinking about all that, I knocked on the door.
It wasn't my mom or dad who came to the door, but Phoebe. I guess I was glad about that cause Phoebe's more welcoming than my parents anyway.
"Holden! You're home!" Phoebe was doing her job in keeping my secret about expulsion. I told her to pretend like I was never there that one night I came to talk to her, and she did a good job at covering. Well, I guess my parents would have told her I got expelled after they got the letter from Pencey, but oh well, I guess she was still pretending. Anyhow, I talked to Phoebe for a while before actually coming into the house to see my parents.
"Oh…hello there Holden," was all my mom had to say to me. She looked at me, and then turned back into the kitchen. I stood there with little Phoebe by my side for a couple seconds and then we both just kind of looked at each other with puzzled looks on our faces.
"Umm, I guess mommy's a little mad about you getting into all that trouble at school," that was the nicest way Phoebe could think of to tell me that my mom was really pissed off at me for being such a screw up.
"Damn it! I knew I was going to get busted for getting kicked out, but I was expecting at least a little goddam sympathy for coming home. At least a little goddam hospitality! Damn it, damn it, damn it!" All I could do was get pissed at my mom for being pissed at me. I mean, I know deep down that she does have a good reason for being a bitch, but that sure didn't stop me from being pissed at her.
"Holden calm down. It's okay; they'll cool down after a little bit. I think they're just mad cause it was a big shock and no offense, but you didn’t have the best record before this," Phoebe all of the sudden wasn't very good at making me feel better. She actually made me feel worse.
"Goddam it Phoebe you're not helping!" With that I slammed the door and sat on the porch steps. About thirty minutes later, my dad came out and sat next to me. "What do you want? If you're gonna be rude to me like mom was, I don’t wanna hear it. I'll leave if you want me to, but I don’t wanna be around if I'm gonna be treated like crap."
"Holden, I am disappointed in you. I expected better out of you, especially after everything else that's happened before Pencey," I could tell I he was heading into the whole guilt trip speech, "Your mother and I have talked about what your punishment should be for this and we couldn’t come to anything. We don’t feel you deserve to go to another expensive private school, but we don’t want you in a public school either."
"I don’t wanna go to school. Public, private, college, none of that shit fits me. You know that, mom knows that, even ask Phoebe! Even Phoebe knows that!" I was trying to convince him not to send me back to school.
"I know that Holden," he was actually starting to sound more understanding. "I don’t know how to say this…but, um, your mother and I have come to the decision that you should be out on your own."
"What, you mean like, living on my own?" I said with sarcasm. But, boy was that a shock!
"Yes; on your own. It was a hard decision, but we both feel it's best. We don't know what to do with you anymore Holden; we've tried everything and you just keep messing everything up. I'm sorry son," he actually did sound sincere.
"You know what, fine. Imma go upstairs and get my stuff together and leave by the end of the day," I slammed my feet down on the ground as a jumped up and stormed inside. I walked up to my room to get my stuff and Phoebe was waiting for me on my bed. "So, I'm guessing you knew and you just didn't tell me?"
Phoebe shook her head, "Mommy just came in and told me when daddy was talking to you. Where you gonna go Holden?" boy did she sound worried.
"I dunno. Probably back to the city. Where else am I gonna go? California maybe, but I'd have to earn a hell of a lotta money to get me all the way over there," I just started rambling. I was so confused. I thought they'd take it bad, but I never saw this coming.
Phoebe walked out of my room in tears and slammed her door. I felt terrible. I let her down. I was her role model, and now she can't even look up to me. But I don’t want her to anyway. What the hell kinda example am I? Goddam it Holden! I just kept saying that to myself in my head, over and over again. I finally finished all my packing and somehow managed to squeeze everything into one backpack. I put my red hat on and walked downstairs to say goodbye to my weeping mother and my frustrated father just before walking out of the door for the last time. Well, at least until I get back on my feet. Maybe they'll forgive me if someone discovers that I'm actually a genius waiting to be found and turned into a millionaire. Nah, what the hell was I thinking? I'd never become a millionaire. I was just a screw up.
I'll skip all the boring stuff I did that day cause I don’t think you really wanna hear about it. It was basically me sitting in a park, wallowing in self-pity. That night I found myself at some small bar a couple blocks from home. I remembered I used to sit outside of that place as a kid with Phoebe there and we'd always talk about hanging out there when she got old enough. I felt a small hand touch my back and at first it didn’t phase me, but then it started poking me so I turned around only to find Phoebe there, right behind me. I jumped off the stool and questioned Phoebe like a worried mother would.
"Holden, I'm running away with you. The only reason I stay at home is to wait for you to come back from school, and now your out for good, so lets go rent a place," Phoebe said all that with a cute little girl smile on her face.
"Phoebe what the hell do you think you're doing? You can't come with me. Hell, I don’t even know where I'm going, how the hell am I supposed to watch out for you as well as figure my life out?" I sounded furious, but actually I wasn’t. I was really glad Phoebe decided to come with me, she'd keep me company, but what about my frickin' parents? "Phoebe you can't come. Mom and dad would freak."
"Don't worry about it Holden, it'll be fine. They won't even notice. The only thing they needed me for was to give you a reason to come back on your breaks," Phoebe sounded so sad, yet happy at the same time.
"I'm not sure why, but I guess I'll let you come with me. Except, I don’t know where I'm going so your just gonna have to bear with me," Phoebe was my life saver, although I still wasn't sure how I was going to support us both on the streets, you know, after I spent all my money expecting my parents to be forgiving folk.
"Sweet! Let's go to that motel we stayed at that one Christmas!" Phoebe sure seemed awful excited to be homeless.
"Okay, we can try I guess, I don’t have much money, but we'll see what we can get," Boy was I starting to sound like an adult. But I guess I had to seeing as though I basically had to be Phoebe's new dad cause she's so young and all.
Anyway, a couple days passed and Phoebe was doing great. She loved the idea of living in a motel with her big brother. Me on the other hand, boy was I getting annoyed. All she wanted to do was go to the park. I was getting so sick of that goddam park. A couple more days passed and we got kicked out of the motel because I could no longer pay. Phoebe suggested staying at the park like actual homeless people, but I wasn't up for that. I wanted a bed under a roof. Hell no was I going to sleep under a tree. But, where did we end up? Yeah that's right, we ended up at the park under a tree. Phoebe was thrilled and I couldn’t take being so poor anymore. I decided to apply for jobs the next day. But what was I going to do with Phoebe while I was at work?
"I can go with you and we can get paid double!" Boy was she clueless.
"You can't work Phoebe! Only I can! You can't! Get it? Goddam it!" I overreacted as usual and Phoebe started to cry. I felt bad so I held her and we fell asleep under the tree.
The next morning I applied for a job at some bar, but they didn’t believe me when I said I was twenty-two. So I tried the bookstore across the street. I was hired almost immediately, but I didn’t take it as a compliment or anything. I just figured the guy needed a worker so he picked the first guy up for it. He told me I was going to start the next day at 8:00 am. I grabbed Phoebe's hand and we walked out of the store.
All of the sudden, she stopped walking and just stared at the window. "Phoebe what is it? C'mon we have to get going, I don’t wanna be here all night, let's go!" I was very impatient, but didn’t even bother looking at what she was obviously interested in. She didn’t' budge. Even when I tried pulling her, her eyes were locked to some sign on the window. I finally decided to check it out and I was completely in shock.
"Lost: Phoebe Caufield (age: ____, height: ____, eyes: ____, hair: ____) If you've seen her, please call: 555-1325" That's what the sign said. I looked down at Phoebe and she wasn't there. Apparently she had run away, or back home. Either one would have screwed my life over even more. "Phoebe! Where are you? C'mon Phoebe this isn't funny!" There was no reply.
This really got me pissed cause I had to deal with finding Phoebe, as well as my parents if they could track me down in the big city. Goddam it Holden, you've really screwed up this time.
END OF CHAPTER

Comic Life

Short Story

Soccer is a huge part of my life. Well, at least it used to be. Playing for the school team sounded like a whole lot of fun, but boy was I wrong. Don't get me wrong, I had a good time, it's just…the coach. Don't even mention her to me. All she had us do was run. We'd run distance at the beginning of practice, and field sprints at the end. That killed me. Anyway, after the first couple weeks we elected team captains. They were pretty good I guess, I mean, they weren't bad or anything, but they forgot their own rules a bunch of times. Here's what happened.
The captains said they were supposed to organize an equipment list, but I think they just made one so they wouldn’t have to be in charge of all the equipment. That doesn't matter though. What matters is that once they divided the equipment evenly among the team, they happened to be in charge of one of the bags of balls. Well, I guess one day they forgot to bring them out or something, but they didn’t realize it 'til it was too late.
We were on the second one of our warm-up laps around the field, shocking I know, we actually didn’t have to run a lot that day. Boy did that change. Anyway, so we were running in our two lines parallel to each other with the two captains up front, when all of the sudden…CRASH! BOOM! SPLAT! We were all on top of each other in one big pile. "Ouch!" "Hey that hurt!" "What's going on!?" "What the hell?!" Those are just a few of the things that came out of my teammates mouths.
So the captains got up in front of us, us still on the ground complaining, and one of them opens their mouths to talk, but all that came out was, "Hahahahahahahahahahaha!" We all then burst out into laugher not even knowing quite exactly what we were laughing at. Until, the other captain decided we spent enough time laughing and that we should get to the point of all this commotion. "We forgot to bring our balls out!" Now she said this expecting us to feel sorry for them and to allow them to run and grab the bag, however, that's not the way it was taken. Another burst of laugher began, although this one seemed unstoppable.
By this time, our coach had realized we were no longer running and that in fact; we were rolling on the ground laughing. Boy she did not like that one bit. She walked over to us, but to me it seemed like she was charging at us like a very angry bull because of all the rage that I could see building up inside of her. "What do you think you're doing?!?!?!" Now it was 100% completely evident she was pretty pissed.
"Oh…uhhh," "Oh hi coach, we um," "Hehehehe," "What's up?" By these few responses you can tell we were not prepared with an excuse for our "childish behavior." So, we burst out laughing again even though we knew it was the biggest mistake we could possibly make at the moment. I thought it was funny, but somehow, through my laugher, I managed to sneak a look at my coach. I immediately stopped laughing and was actually kind of scared. There was so much anger in her face it was unbelievable.
"That's it. I was actually going to give you ladies a break today. We were going to have a fun, easy practice, full of games, but now that you've shown me you can't even run two simple laps without messing around, we're going to run." That was it. She walked away from us, leaving us all biting our tongues not to laugh again. We got up, walked over to the jug of water, stocked up on as much water as we possibly could so we wouldn't have to worry about dehydration.
That day we ended up running about four miles at my coaches pace, which is like 20 miles per hour. That killed me. So, soccer was a huge part of my life, cause I had to put up with that everyday, but now its over. And I'm quite glad about that. I don't have to see my coach anymore. Ugh, don't even mention her to me…